THE NEW EDUCATION - FROM THE TOP

Most Newspaper headlines and columnists have suggested that both Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak should resign, for 1- breaking the ministerial code by misleading (lying) to parliament and 2 - for breaking the law. Some Newspapers and Conservative Members of Parliament have supported the Prime Minister, despite his deceit, claiming that his past and current achievements, coupled with his apology, put his ‘misdemeanour’ fine on the back burner as being of no consequence.

 

Lies and deceit are of no consequence in a Prime Minister. It is clearly what is expected. A minor breach of rule of law can be disregarded. The very fabric of what holds this nation together is therefore malleable and not very important in any event.

 

The next civics class in the school curriculum is thus expanded to include how the rule of law can be ignored. There are classes of offences which can be disregarded as unimportant. Lying and cheating on exams, for instance, a minor matter so long as one apologises if found out. Using a fake ID to buy alcohol and cigarettes? Not a problem, just a simple sorry. And of course the seller is equally absolved as it is really of no consequence. A small fine will do. It is clearly vital to expand our children’s education to include the new realism:

Current curriculum at Westminster High School – (academy or comprehensive education)

Civics classes:

What Price Integrity 101? Assemble in rooms 10 and 11 (£50 for the short course) (Professors Johnson or Sunak on alternate days)

Effective deception: Mendacity for all occasions -in the main chamber (Professor Johnson)

Defending the indefensible: A cavalcade of nonsense – (Unspecified Professors from front and back bench staff room)

Ignorance of the Law CAN be an excuse: How to manipulate context and circumvent logic and reason – Various venues (Multiple professors from the front and back bench Staff Room – in addition to Professors Sunak and Johnson)

Bending the Rule of Law: Circumvention for beginners (Staff room)

Advanced ESPAW: Equivocation, sophistry, prevarication and waffle – an expert’s guide (Cabinet room)

Photo Opportunity as deflection: How to minimise scrutiny with appropriate costume/ machinery (Hard Hat or Overalls, fork lift or mini digger) (Professor Johnson) This is an outdoor or away day class and requires parental permission.

Advanced Photo Op: In addition to parental permission some elements may also include foreign travel. Additional insurance may be required in danger areas. Interpreter may be required. (Professor Johnson) {It should be noted that Professor V Zelenskyy may assist in these lectures)

There are extramural classes as well:

Understanding Design and home maintenance: How to cover up extravagant expenses by email and text messaging. (This class requires you to check with your financial advisor before enrolling) (Professor Carrie may sub for Professors Lord Brownlow and Johnson) (Professor Lulu Lytle assisting)

 

These classes will be extended to cover the entire United Kingdom Educational system and will be taught in schools across the country. In the absence of any comment to the contrary, we have the Rt Hon Nadhim Zahawi MP Secretary of State for Education to thank for it all.